“What’s for tea?” said Mr Black Hole to Mrs Black Hole.
“Neutron stars, planetoids and space dust,” said Mrs Black Hole.
“Ooh lovely!” said Mr Black Hole, as he changed into a smarter event horizon, in preparation for the sumptuous banquet the delectable Mrs Black Hole had prepared for them.
08 April 2009
“What’s for tea?” said Mr Black Hole to Mrs Black Hole.
19 November 2008
And so, with an air of inevitability, Frank the Stick Insect and Yakamura Candleburger, Grand High Samurai of the Intergalactic Conglomeration of Non-Human Entities Who Feel Like There are Never Enough Hats in the Universe, went their separate ways.
"Fancy a game of Yahtzee?" said Yakamura to a passing duck.
"I give up on you," said Yakamura. "You're beyond hope."
"And you're an idiot," said Frank.
"Stop calling me an idiot!" said Yakamura.
"Why?" said Frank.
"Because I'm not an idiot!" said Yakamura. "I am a wise old sage!"
"Ye Gods," said Frank.
Yakamura smiled smugly. "Go on…" he said.
"Tennis rackets are beautiful!" said Frank. "In fact…"
"Yes?" said Yakamura, whose smugness had reached astronomical proportions.
"They are the most beautiful objects in the world!" said Frank.
"Hurrah!" said Yakamura – smugness personified!
"Only joking…" said Frank.
"Well what?" said Frank.
"What are you thinking about?" said Yakamura.
"Tennis rackets," said Frank.
"And?" said Yakamura.
"And what?" said Frank.
"And," said Yakamura, "what is your opinion of tennis rackets?"
"Well…" started Frank; "umm…"
Then Frank had a bit of an epiphany!
"It suits you!" opined Yakamura.
"If you say so," said Frank.
"Think about something," said Yakamura.
"Like what?" said Frank.
"Anything!" said Yakamura.
Frank thought about tennis rackets.
"It's not just any old hat," said Yakamura. "It's a Happyhat!"
"Oh good grief…" uttered Frank, his despair increasing.
"Put it on…" said Yakamura.
"No thanks…" said Frank.
"Put it on!" said Yakamura, more forcefully than previously.
"I'm not hungry, thanks," said Frank.
Yakamura replaced the beef'n'cabbage sandwich within his voluminous robes and withdrew (slowly) another object.
"I already have the latest 2000AD," said Frank.
Yakamura replaced the comic within his voluminous robes and withdrew another object…
Yakamura sat beneath the cherry blossom tree.
"No thing is nothing, and yet nothing is all around," said Yakamura.
"Idiot," said Frank, who continued on his way.
"Wait!" said Yakamura.
"What?" said Frank.
"I have something for you," said Yakamura.
"It had better not be dice," said Frank.
"What are you doing?" said Frank, as he ceased passing by and looked at Yakamura.
"What are you doing?" said Frank, as he passed by.
18 November 2008
"Glad you've seen sense," said Frank, who would be happy indeed to no longer have to endure countless Yahtzee tournaments and being forced to feign interest at Yakamura's philosophical babblings.
("Hmm," wondered Yakamura; "how can I rekindle Frank's sense of joy?")
"Why not?" said Yakamura.
"Why not what?" said Frank.
"Why not play Yahtzee?" said Yakamura.
"Yahtzee is a game for fools," said Frank.
"Then we shall proudly declare ourselves to be fools!" said Yakamura.
"Whatever," said Frank. "I'm still not playing Yahtzee."
"Spoilsport!" said Yakamura.
"Oh bugger off," said Frank.
"Ah-ha!" said Yakamura (a samurai), "there you are!"
"Oh carpetcheese…" uttered Frank, peeved at his inability to render himself invisible unto his annoying "friend," Yakamura.
"Let's play Yahtzee!" said Yakamura.
"No," said Frank.
"Sorry, I was distracted there for a minute by utter, inconsolable boredom," said Frank the Stick Insect. "What did you say?"
"Hmmmpph!" said Yakamura.
"Don't you want to know why words are like small globules of slightly congealed slugslime?" said Yakamura Candleburger, Grand High Samurai of the Intergalactic Conglomeration of Non-Human Entities Who Feel Like There are Never Enough Hats in the Universe.
"No!" said Frank the Stick Insect.
"Then you, my friend, are-"
"Well at least I'm not a stick insect," said Yakamura Candleburger.
"Rather a stick insect than an idiot!"
"Jeez," said Frank the Stick Insect, who had had quite enough of Yakamura Candleburger.
"What?" said Yakamura.
And why are they "jammie"?
And furthermore, why is "jammie" spelt with an "ie" and not a "y"?
Time to spellcheck!
Tiz true, "jammie" is, in fact, not a real word.
"Jammy," however, means…
"covered in or filled with jam"
But what are they dodging?! :
…and I continue to be perplexed by Japan!
A "childlike" culture?
"Childlike" = lesser?
Koji Suzuki's "Ring"… "Spiral"… "Loop"…
Big ideas, oddly conveyed…
(fiction within fiction)
I continue to delve!
They sit on my shelf.
They largely remain unplayed, except (mainly) for one…
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3
- a weird (but oddly addictive) Japanese RPG.
The rolling demo distracts my baby daughter while I'm changing her…
Sometimes she lolls on my lap, caressing the controller…
That's my girl! :)
So here is my first.
What shall I write about?
The changing of nappies?
The never sleeping more than 5 hours at a stretch? (usually no more than 3!)
Or the indescribable beauty of my daughter Talise's smile?
The latter! :)
18 June 2008
Have some "common sense"!
Have some "courage to act"!
But hang on…
Are these not quite different things?
Related perhaps, but one certainly does not imply the other.
So what, in essence, is "gumption"?
Have some "guts"!
Have some "spunk"!
Have some "boldness of enterprise" or "initiative" or "aggressiveness"!
Imagine… if ketchup was green… if mint sauce was red… if mayonnaise was blue… how confusing it would be!
How quickly would we acclimatise to sauces of unexpected hues? To the point where they were not unexpected? To the point where they were… in fact… expected?
13 June 2008
Okay, more a proverb than a superstition. However...
Of course you're not going to count your chickens before they hatch! Because before they hatch, they're not chickens! They're eggs! Of course, if it was…
Don't count your eggs before they hatch
…that would make a lot more sense.
Picture the scene… cute little Flopsy Mopsy bouncing through the field, frolicking with his fluffy, floppy-eared pals. Then along comes some superstitious human fool, with a big knife or sommat and, without so much as a by-your-leave, lops poor little Flopsy Mopsy's foot off! For good luck, apparently… the cheek!
Because falling tins of paint hurt!
A barnacle. Some plankton. A piece of cheese. A slug. An oyster. String. Tapeworms. A paramecium. A fossil. A turnip. An origami cat. An invisible snake. Bed bugs. A supreme being. A Trojan horse. A hot dog. A rubber chicken. Slime mould (all varieties). An artificial life simulation. Some grass.